Right. You knew this was coming: Limericks.
Rule, though: your piece must include a place near the place mentioned in the previous piece. ‘Near’ means that it has to be located in a neighbouring canton, province, prefecture, county, bundesland, state or country. Disregard oceans: it’s OK to jump from, say, Ireland to Iceland.
The place must also be hyperlinked to a map. As a reminder:
will produce the following link:
Caution: make sure the quotation marks in your hyperlink are straight quotes (technically known as ‘double primes’); if you copy and paste the verse from a text processing application that automatically transforms quotation marks into typographically correct ‘curly quotes’ (that’s “ and ”), the link will break. If in doubt, use the Preview button before you post.
Update: To get a map of a particular place, go to MapQuest, select a country, enter the place name and hit ‘Get Map’. Then copy and paste the URL (yes, it’ll be a bit long, but never mind) from your browser’s address field into a link tag as above.
Here’s your starting point:
There was this geezer from Bern
Who thought he would earn
Some major credit
When he started to edit
The Ode on a Grecian Urn.
Hi Ruedi, here’s a quick one. Any similarity to young women we know or have known is purely coincidental. :-) Even Lear limmericks have been known to cheat once in a while (the so-called alliterative cop-out).
There was a young lady from Biel
From whose suitors she tried to conceal
A large muscled hairy chest
With a frilled Sunday-best
That turned her from Julian to Jill.
That one didn’t work so well, the structure was a bit lax. Let’s try again. Lear’s tradition does not, of course, always oblige one to make sense.
A young sports fanatic from Brig
after watching the champions league
sent his boss a brief note
that he had a sore throat
and a mild case of combat fatigue
There once was a girl in Des Moines
Who didn’t want to be all alone.
So she did a great laugh,
that split her in half
and that was the end of her fun.
There once was a man in Eastwick,
who was known to be prone to kick.
But he was cured from that
when he kicked a hat
that sat on a heavy and unyielding brick.
A bonnie wee lassie from Scotland
had moved to a rather hot land
where the sun was so bright
her red hair turned white
and her skin looked like that of a cowhand
There once was a crone from Stavanger
who figured that she would look younger
if she ate only salad.
And the end of this ballad?
Predictably, she died of hunger.
There once was a worm in Warwick
who thought his waist was much too thick
so he reduced his consumption
of compost at luncheon
and -you know what?- that actually did the trick!
There once was a bottle in York
who was suddenly left by its cork.
produced a sensation,
for the cork had run away with a fork!!
There was a young man from Leeds
who stepped on a packet of peas,
he slipped and he slithered,
he wriggled and withered,
and landed in a patch of weeds.
There once was a cow in Mas Nou
who loved to hear cats say ‘meow’.
In order to hear
this sound loud and clear
she kicked the felines against a trough.
The most recent additions to ‘Geo-Limericks’ were authored by: